Doomed For Failure

I'm feeling helpless...and it has all to do with my overdrive of emo...i should start to wise up and watch my horrible personality from showing up...yes, i'm self-conscious and no, i'm not hiding it well...i guess at the end of the day... i lose again...because i love jumping into wrong conclusions...and i can't sleep coz of it...i'm worrying for something that was headed for failure anyways...
(pls ignore the above, i just need to get it off my chest)

Today i went to the gym at 8am did a great workout burning 500 calories...later on i had coffee with cheryl... mainly to pass her her present and also to discuss abt life and all...had to rush off to tm to meet wq and i found out he had waited 1hr for me...i feel like an idiot now... i am so not a princess and i still make ppl wait like a slave...so pai seh!well got my badminton grip and then we proceeded to starbucks for coffee...ordered mocha frappacino and we sat there talking abt o'levels ,sec sch life and all...then we went to pavillion to play pool and i think he got so bored with playing with me, i really feel like a moron... coz i can't even shoot a ball into the pocket... i am just lousy in everything that is hip and cool now... someone just shoot me! anyways we took the train and ended up at siglap cc to book thurday's badminton court slot... and the guy at the counter made me sign up on the wrong form and when i wanted to pay he didn't have change for $50... i mean up to this point i was thinking: why can't anything go right and make me look cool for once? shit lah... for the entire time i kept using words like shit and all... maybe he must think what a rude and uncivilised girl! ok so he walked me home but stop by the playground to sit on the swings and enjoy each others comapany... although i feel i'm the only one enjoying it... he looked bored...or could it be that he just has a perpetually bored face? right. well, again the pinkish evening sky turned a dark blue shade and the breeze was just superb... it was too magical and even through the quietness, i felt settled and contented... no interruption, there was no one there to disturb us... well he wanted to walk me all the way home but i told him to go... i dun know which nerve in my body triggered that shit out of me...he offered and i rejected it like i am some princess wanting her slave to disappear from her sight...needless to say, he didn't msg me for the rest of the night... well i guess this outing was doomed for failure... i just wonder why in the world did i go ahead with it...